What people don’t tell you about long distance relationships is how much an emotional roller coaster it really is. There will be days where you’re the headstrong driven go-getter kicking goals while saying with a smile, I’m totally fine! I miss them [SO], but I’ll be fine.*
*and me being a logical person that was me for the first 3 months! I have a tendency for delayed emotional reactions.
On the flip side, there will be days when you’re snuggled up with your pillow bemoaning that you couldn’t possibly do the distance anymore. Especially when that end date seems like it’s never coming. But it’s not going to last forever ;), I promise.
Depending on your attachment style, how a LDR works is different; but it’s definitely not for the faint hearted. It takes relentless perseverance, dedication and commitment from both ends to make it work. But at the same time it’s easy to fall into the trap of living life by the screen. The key? There’s a definite fine line balance between letting your partner that you care about them and functioning without them.
I recently watched Ruby Sparks and there’s a scene where Calvin writes Ruby to be utterly miserable without him. And she ends up being super clingy and attached to Calvin refusing to not be by his side at all times. While earlier in the film, she was on the opposite spectrum: socialising to the max without accounting Calvin in her plans. Being either person on the end of the spectrum is not ideal, it’s a balance: being your own person while still letting your SO that you care about them (and of course spending time with them!).
Though at the beginning, it’s only natural to be endlessly chatting and staying up at both ends regardless of the time difference. Cause you both immensley miss each other, and if you can’t be there at the same place/time together- at least you are always there on the other side. Though when work returns, the reality sets in- that 24/7 contact isn’t possible and the distance is real.
Yes the distance is ridiculous and doesn’t make sense- but it is possible to grow as a person from both ends and not grow apart 😉 I found this to be profoundly true with my guy best friend, we’re constantly encouraging each other to chase our dreams and aspirations and to live out our lives. While supporting each other of every up and down and it’s through that we grew together. In fact he inspired this post ;)! I also realised that there will be good days where we both relish our awesome friendship and sit up talking all night. And on other days, the realisation that we’re 11,358km, 17hrs in flight time and 7hrs apart hits us like a ton of bricks.
Just remember your meet cute story 😉 and somehow you found the astronomical love that everyone spends the rest of their life looking for and you weren’t even looking. Stuff the distance! It’s so worth every up and down.
As Taylor Swift once said:
So here’s Unibookworm’s LDR survival music playlist for every up and down of being apart from your SO 😉
#1. When you need a I’m waiting for you SO anthem.
Best liners (chorus in this case!):
From this lonely coastline to New Orleans,
I may have lost my way but I still know what it means to be
Loved by you, by you.
We’re all just searching for something new,
But I’m still waiting, waiting for you.
And @2:33 the chorus lines of oh,oh,oh,oh [pure dance bliss] 😉
#2. When you get annoyed at the universe for sending the most perfect person … who just happens to live on the other side of the earth:
Who ever loved ordinary anyways?
Even though it hurts more, love fought hard for means so much more.
You can’t undo a fall like this
‘Cause love don’t know what distance is
Yeah, I know it’s crazy
But I don’t want “good” and I don’t want “good enough”
I want “can’t sleep, can’t breathe without your love”
Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn’t make sense to anybody else
Who cares if you’re all I think about,
I’ve searched the world and I know now,
It ain’t right if you ain’t lost your mind
Yeah, I don’t want easy, I want crazy
Are you with me baby? Let’s be crazy
#3. When the time zone differences and distance drives you absolutely crazy.
I’ve been keepin’ busy all time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Tryin’ to figure out the time zones makin’ me crazy
#4. When you’re yearning to be together with your SO like right now.
I want you and I always will. ❤️
#5. When you’re ready to fight off every obstacle under the sun and moon to be together.
Baby let the games begin. It’s all the opposing forces that are working against you both. But you’re both ready to fight them off as a team like no tomorrow. 😉
I see nothing better, I keep him forever
Like a vendetta-ta
#6. When you’re feeling on top of the world with your LDR 😉
‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ey
I’m on top of the world, ‘ey
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ey
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ey
Take it with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world
#7. When you’re reminiscing your adventure memories.
December 2016 memories 😉 NY & Paris.
But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms
And if you like having secret little rendezvous
And if you like midnight driving with the windows down
And if you like going places we can’t even pronounce
If you like to do whatever you’ve been dreaming about
#8. When you’re wondering what a future with them would look like.
This makes me smile =) if you can envision this, they’re a keeper.
Like dancing in the kitchen in the pale moonlight
Only care in the world is that our kids are all right
Daddy loves mamma and mamma loves him
Tomorrow we get to do it over again
#9. When you’re worried whether you and your SO will make it to the end.
Put your hand in mine, you know that I want to be with you all the time.
#10. When you’re facing life challenges, your trusty life partner always standing by your side.
Love you’re not alone.
Yeah you’re all I never knew I needed.
Truth I guess truth is what you believe.
And faith, I think faith is having reason.
#11. When you start having doubts… [is it worth it?]
Short answer: Yes.
I would break the laws of gravity
Kill it for you in the first degree
#12. When you’re waiting for their long awaited return/reunion.
Everything I can’t be, is everything you should be.
That’s why I need you right now.
#13. And when it comes, the whole world is in awe of your eclipse.
Best liner- literally…
This is gonna be the best day of my life, my life-eeeeee
#14. When there’s not a day that goes by that you didn’t wish they were here 😉
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard
But we’re gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night
Saying things we haven’t for a while, a while yeah
#15. When you’re so done missing your SO.
I was the prototype like 3 Stacks on that CD
An example of the perfect candidate
#16. But not being together would never make sense.
Guy best friend sent this song way back when and ever since became an avid Chainsmokers fan ^^. He knows me so well to the point we have esp music taste too!
I’ll ride my bike up to the road
Down the streets right through the city
I’ll go everywhere you go
From Chicago to the coast
You tell me, “Hit this and let’s go
Blow the smoke right through the window”
‘Cause this is all we know
#17. Memories of your last trip together.
Literally Paris 😉
We were staying in Paris
To get away from your parents
You look so proud…
Out on the terrace
#18. When you’re super protective of your life partner.
When you need me
I will keep on fighting for your love
And if you feel it
I’d go gladiator for your love
You know I mean it
#19. Cause no one makes you feel the way you do but your SO.
You take me to another space,
You take me to a higher place.
#20. When you feel like you honestly can’t take the distance anymore.
Loving can heal.
Loving can mend your soul…
I swear it will get easier.
#21. When you and your SO reunite and can check out each other all the time. Like literally. And it’s not awkward at all 😉
It’s human nature to miss what’s under your nose.
So suddenly I’m in love with a stranger
I can’t believe that she’s mine
‘Cause you’re gorgeous in this moment
If I could bottle this up, I would
#22. When you realise that everywhere you go, there’s memories of them everywhere.
Somehow in the midst of 7 adventures, there are memories of my best friend scattered everywhere in Melbourne. In all my favourite places 😉
You’re everywhere I go.
You’re eveywhere I wake, I’ll be missing you with every step I take.
#23. When you realise you’re one of the lucky ones.
We were just kids and we were so in ❤️ not knowing what it was.
#24. When you wish you could snuggle with them right now or have one of their hugs.
And I just wanna hold ya, hold ya, hold ya, now
You’re the one that keeps me, keeps me, on the ground
#25. When you’re feeling you so don’t deserve your SO – but you really do 😉
It’s impossible to listen to this song without smiling. =)
I think I love her more than I even understand.
#26. Cause really you’re both an epic team of co-pilots.
I even got an aeroplane necklace to remind myself that I’m never flying in the lightning alone.
And nearly every time that I lean off track
You don’t even know but you lead me back-ack-ack-ack
#27. When you need reassurance that it’s ok to miss them.
Note: never a good idea to make it a contest/game who misses each other more. Cause the truth is, you’ll both miss each other immensely at different times. Just don’t hide it when you do ^^
It doesn’t mean you’re weak
Or that you got low self-esteem
We all got hearts that forget why they beat
We are brilliant, we are unique
But we forget so effortlessly
#28. When you begin to question your sanity for being in an LDR.
You can do this, you are not a lu-lunatic
#29. When you’re wishing your SO never has to leave again.
I’m just saying it’s fine by me
If you never leave
And we can live like this forever (aw ❤️)
#30. When you’re both equally annoyed at the universe for making you both fall for each other despite the difference.
Yeah, I bet you’re bending God’s ear talking ’bout me.
*That’s me like every day.
#31. When people you know who live here start hitting on you [sorry I’m taken, there’s No Vacancy]:
Just why do they live here [people I don’t want to see]? While the person that I do want to see is so far away? Life’s unresolved mysteries.
Had so many walls that you’d think that I was a castle.
But ever since I met you
No vacancy because of you
There’s no vacancy, no empty rooms
#32. Cause regardless of all the risks, it’s worth it for Something like this 😉
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
#33. The Less I know – about ❤️ in general 😉
All my life I’ve been waiting for something
Realized I’ve been waiting so long
I think it’s you
But you confuse me
#34. Lastly, people will think you’re young, crazy and reckless to be in a LDR in the first place…
Cause it probably won’t work out in their eyes.
But hey, they can Call it what they want.
In your mind, they’re your exception. And so are you to them.
I recall late November
Holding my breath, slowly I said
“You don’t need to save me
But would you run away with me?” ❤️
Here’s the full playlist on YouTube 😉 There are 52 songs in total, so I just picked my favourite 34! Happy listening and let me know what you all think ;)!